STAGES & SEASONS OF GRIEF
I wrestled with the idea of whether or not they are STAGES or SEASONS. Is it a staircase or a cycle?
Perhaps it is a Stair-Cycle? or a Cycle-Case? or maybe its a Sta-Son? A Sea-Ges? For me, the process feels like levels within each season, or even various seasons within each stage. Depending on the situation.
STAGES:
The Pre-Known: The calm before the storm. The silence before the alarms. The uninterrupted perfection of the future you’re imagining.
Self-Awareness / The Awakening: Alarm bells ringing, birds singing, signs flashing, world crashing.
Lists, Questions, Google, Hey Siri: Who am I? What is this? What symptoms? Was that cough Cancer, COVID, MS, a Cold or Allergies?
Inspiration & Power Cloak: It could be nothing. I am fine. I can do this. I am strong. I think I can handle it. This isn’t that scary.
Brace for Impact. Discovery: Reality check. It wasn’t just stress and lack of sleep. Something is wrong. Here we go!
Nausea & Impact: Holy shit. Holy shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Where did I leave my big-girl-pants?
Questions, Comments, Concerns, Feedback: What do I do? Who knows something? All advice and support welcome.
Deals with God / The Devil: Rock-paper-scissors… I will never ___ again if you take this away. Who do I have to rob?
The Positivity Free Zone: F*&% the world. I don’t deserve this. Why me? What did I do? How can this be happening? #NotStrongEnough
Settling & Acceptance: Okay we got this. We can handle this. I can wear neon orange. I think I can do it. **Washes big-girl-pants**
Peace, Faith, Hope in Tomorrow: The world didn’t end. My life isn’t over. **Zips up big-girl-pants**
SEASONS:
SUMMER: I am great. Thanks for asking.
FALL: What was that? A new symptom? Old Age? Nothing… I think.
UNSETTLED: Wow I really don’t feel that great right now. I can make it though.
WINTER: What the heck? I have plans. I was doing fine!! Why now?! Jeeeeeeezzzz!
EMBRACE: I am not fine. I am not okay. I am not great. I feel terrible.
SPRING: It’s all going to be alright, eventually.
I’m inclined to believe that these brutal and beautiful "(Bruti-ful) Stages and Seasons are ever evolving and REVOLVING. Capable of starting over or off and progressing in any order. There is no designated time allotment and no expectation of progression or regression. It is purely a process. Accepting that it is NOT in your control is half of the battle.
It’s all part of the Adventure.
Charlotte Raejole