SUCCESS & SACRIFICE vs. SELF-CARE & RECHARGE
There is an ever delicate dance required to balance success and self-care. No matter what you do you’ll never please everyone... I suggest you make peace with that sooner than later.
I grew up seeing that you should push yourself beyond your comfort zone. You should dream, believe, achieve, repeat. It should be your personal goal to push yourself with relentless forward progress. I still agree that this approach holds merit and is imperative to growth, development, and success.
HOWEVER, I also believe that the world only reinforces HALF of that lesson. Perhaps I was taught both, but only absorbed the one that offered notable reinforcement and tangible-quantifiable success measures.
If one half of the journey is pushing yourself, sacrificing, passion, drive, and in the search for self discovery, then the other half has to be rest, recharge, support, personal reflection and self-care….. Right?
I am coming to the realization that only the half with trophies, promotions, awards, and sacrifice is positively reinforced. The other half that holds the “pause button” is perhaps seen as weak, lazy, and useless.
Perhaps the missing links to the full lesson are: BALANCE, SUPPORT & ACCEPTANCE.
Balance - The portion where not every day, week, month, will have or require the same percentage share of your time, needs, and required usage of either half. The understanding that it is never an even ratio for how much you need vs. how much you can sustain of either. The stabilization dance should look like a balance board, not a swinging pendulum.
Support - The requirement for others to help you remain accountable to the journey and process of Success vs. Self-Care. This is your inner circle of people that remain focused on ensuring you’re at your best or recognizing when you need to take time to recharge. They offer encouragement to sustain yourself and regain your own peace on a regular basis.
Acceptance - You’re not a Super Hero. You’re a Chonic-Illness Warrior. Your oath is to love and respect yourself. NOT rise above every challenge as if climbing Everest is your daily sword you’ll vow to die on at all costs. Get used to recognizing, appreciating, listening, and adjusting to the signals your body is sending you.
Self Care isn’t $75 on a dinner out, or $150 on a spa day, or $200 on a new pair of shoes. It’s not just about the “treat-yo-self” mentality. Self-care DOES NOT have to be SELFISH. It can be so much deeper.
If success is about drive, passion, and sacrifice. Then Self-care is about the balance, silence, rest and recharge.
Self-care could be:
Not doing an extra 10 push-ups during your workout
Leaving work at 5:30pm vs. 7:30pm
Hitting the snooze button for an extra 15 mins of rest before getting up
Getting a new journal for your thoughts
Going to therapy with a licensed support specialist
Eating an extra slice of cake at a family party
Going on a walk after dinner
Going to bed a little later to catch up on a binge-worthy show
Leaving a party early to go home to rest
Going to sit in the other room because “you need a moment”
Cancelling plans 48 hrs - 4 mins before
Calling your friend to vent for a moment
Self-care is neither SELFISH OVER-INDULGENCE nor is it SENSELESS DEPRIVATION.
Self-care is about accepting where you are, and the responsibility that you’re going to take yourself where you need to go. It is about having the passion to achieve along with the restraint to rest.
If the rest and recharge results in judgement and disappointment from others. SO BE IT.
You will miss out, You will need to cancel plans. You will disappoint people. Don’t apologize. I’m not sorry. You’ll save yourself a lot of unnecessary pain, pressure, and anxiety if you simply respect your limits and avoid pushing yourself beyond what you can physically handle.
You are NOT a super hero. You are human. You are incredible. You still need rest.
May your journey be balanced, blessed, and well rested. May you know the strength & power of success and the beauty & peace of a restful recharge.
Charlotte Raejole